We are the Same Soul

There are days when only your voice

can carry my troubles into safety.

I’m reminded of the eras we shared

it all comes back to me

in flashes,

the waves we rode,

the courts we jested,

the letters we sent,

the cab rides

we shared,

the way you told me

‘the only way to love is full of abandon

recklessness, don’t you know silly girl

that logic is useless

and reason is full of doubt’

Then somehow my words get trapped

in your mind

and my soul is no longer mine

i shall search for my lost self

and find that little girl

inside. other times i marvel

how you have taken my wonder

and transformed it

into poetic riptides.

The visuals of goddesses

of the past and present,

my Virgo twin

I should be loving you right now

but you send me your bullets

as I welcome them.

hit me with your best lines

i’m living the lie

waiting for the dream

It’s coming straight from California

my book of poetry will be in your hand

and nothing will make sense

anymore.

I will be fine

Today’s state of mind

is not as poetic or earth-shattering

or as wise as yesterday’s.

Perhaps it is softer, subtler

in tune with the crystals

in public bathrooms. I see

everything and that is a bloody

curse. I know. A twenty-four hour

sleep cures nothing. In fact,

it awakens more dread

and sweeps the dark

under the light. I will be

fine, as you always

appear to be. In this

home, at this stop sign,

under the half-moon,

trembling at all these

diseases that eat up

my daily blessings.

I will throw words

around, too fucking bad.

Read me or not.

Love me or not.

I will not die

but it has changed me

and my hands,

they are the ones

that suffer

the turmoil

of my soul.

You go on

and build your

beautiful home,

discreet love,

Past transgressions

and future bomb attacks.

I have to keep up

with these appointments

cure myself

see you

in my Reiki sessions,

I whither with some kind

of grace.

As long as I have my memory

and the rest

could eat me up inside.

It’s all crystal clear

needs polishing

to claim

the prize.

Bring your magic.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=of+monsters+and+men+crystal

Freedom

I wrote it on the beach

while staring at the ocean

but forgot to send it

deleted it somehow

and poetry faded into

the sand under my feet.

I hear what you say

but I’m nodding at the sky

it’s talking to me

so be silent.

listen. i told you to

stare and you did,

listening to the wind

and how the earth moved

with the clouds.

You breathe deeply.

she was the one

who never got

away from your thoughts

and she was the one

that reminded you

of me. no spells

required. it was

word play. tricks

that poets perform

on cue. i trust no one

but my lover

who knows every

mole on my skin.

every beach is different

yet the same,

and every man is you

and every woman

is me.

That freedom of

saying you’re mine

or I’m yours

or other lovely phrases

that confuse the horizon

are Purolator express

packages of signed poems

I sent to Pakistan, London,

Lebanon, and other exotic

places that poets meet.

Remember how we ruled

the scene with teased hair

and duMaurier cigs

no line ups, no hash tags,

no texts, no pictures?

You just wanted to

get next to me.

That was all

that mattered.

Now everything matters.

My shoes, my hair,

my fake promises.

Yet you see nothing

but what you

have always seen

and that is one

of the myriad ways

that I love you

in every song.

hallucinations

Once he saw my eyes

and left me blinded

by his look.

I told him jokingly I would be

his Brooklyn Baby from Montreal,

but he never listened to Lana

as closely as I always do

and

my boyfriend was singing on stage.

I’m too old to love him; I’m to cold to hold him;

I’m too sweet to know his bad-ass;

but he holds my feathers

and sees right through me.

transparent, he whistles, as I walk past him

then he holds the door open for me.

follows me to the sortie

and is gone

but he

watches me smoke

i thought he was gone,

as i stare at the stars

ignoring the chatter

of who wanted to know

how i shared my mind with the world.

i have no choice

i say, i’ll die if i don’t.

he waves from across the street

and i wondered if it was

my mind

hallucinations again

playing tricks on me.

pass the bourbon, i said,

once the dark became light,

serious, intent on getting so drunk

that i wouldn’t reflect

on the exact blue of his eyes

and why the specks

even mattered at all.

untitled

if you could just dare

to fuck the art in me.

the kind of sex

that would put

us both on fire.

the part where you

never leave in

the morning. i

disappoint you

all the time,

with my past,

my present,

my unstable future.

if you could just dare

to love me,

none of it would even matter.

 

(this will be in my poetry book in a section with no titles)

 

 

One Thousand

In one thousand eyes

I could search for you

the purple sky

right at that time

when you can’t

take your eyes off

the colors

even photos

cannot capture

the life

of one thousand souls

to reach you

I could take the dark

keep it close

lose myself in its arms

but your thousand songs

comfort me more

I was born one thousand times

and all the while

it was you

I met again

to only meet again

under the thousand stars

that divide

us and connect us

Bold or bittersweet

it has brightened

my universe

into one thousand poems

for you.

 

 

 

long ago

long ago you came to me

with broken wings and sexy words

you made me smile

brightening up my day

with your jokes

enlightening my nights with your hands

you said all the right words in all

the right lights

daylight, nightlight, afternoon delight,

you grasped it all

as I slept naked

and woke up to your grip,

the beginning you said

is worth the end

and kissed that spot on my neck

no one cared to

the back of my neck

I hid from

you found the tracks of my veins

with fuel

in your engine

full for me.

I know I disappeared

did not mean to

but the sky

called out to me

when I ached.

I know I hate you

did not mean to

but you pulled

me in so hard

I fell on you

and I let the love unfold.

Even if it was a change of

a pillow case

or a shake of a sheet

we lay in it for a while

and your scent

is what I miss most.

One day in another life

we will meet

and you will find

all those places on my body

that you missed.

Sonnet #1

Let us think of a road far off our path,

where we could walk holding hands in full view

and not feel the hatred of other’s wrath

while the letters remain in my pocket too.

Love will be aflame along the grey road

and a subtle caress will become law.

On your back you will carry my full load

sensing the drive in me is purely raw.

The streets will be silent full of false hope,

while our fingertips travel each other’s skin.

If we walk away we will stop at the rope

reach the line that tells us we can never win.

Here is one last wanting thought for your ears

there never was a road filled with these fears.