Who can really sleep at a time like this?
Second death in one month
heart, youth, love amiss,
in the joy of the day
death comes calling
never asking, only taking
bringing loss like divorce
hatred and denial
unanswered questions
facebook updates and status deaths
leave your soul in Barcelona
or Cape Cod
anywhere but Montreal
where they breathed.
Both fathers
and lovers
their wives sorting their affairs.
I had to pack the clothes
and hold it all together
but when you put me on
on the Sygamore bridge
I felt the crash
again
the faces
trembling
and again
you saved me.
I was shaking at the wheel
my son analyzing Rush lyrics
and how you had to be brilliant
to listen to the music
but my head was elsewhere
unfocused, misled
welcoming fear and its claws
as it entered my head
pulled me down
shattered my soul
and I couldn’t do it
so I watched you drive
through Vermont
I admired your strength
your comfort
you let me be
and at a time like this
when the dreams are floating away
I wonder what life is
and children
and parents
and friends that come and go
and family
how that dreaded day comes
and you don’t know what hit you
a regular fucking day
another departed
so I visit my dad
again
and kiss his picture
It’s on my way home.
Finding comfort in his silence
as I do in Yours.