GNO

Vodka, champagne

ice bucket,

free drinks on the house

because

we know the club owner. This

is his wife, we are her

privileged friends. We drink

and eat for free and pretend

we mean something

to no one.

Girls, girls, girls,

on fire, out to impress

each other with

shoes and a purse

and nothing to say.

It was q & a for me

“What do I think of a thousand dollar

pair of shoes?”

I had so much to say

and no one who cared to listen

and a few “she’s a writer”

so hence the nods

at my philosophy of designer

shoes and purse

and where is the value

in that? to look good

and panic that someone

stepped on you or spilled their

drink and the world has to stop

because they are alive.

I am ready for the exit

but first I need a few more drinks

to discuss how I prefer to spend

a thousand bucks on books

and you won’t catch me dead

in those

the only way is to buy them for

me

so I told them my stories of how

I feel when I walk

when I talk

and who knew that jealousy

is so ingrained in some souls

that they hate me first

and then such love and compliments

that fakery fuckery has arrived to visit again.

Oh, yes, who cares my phone cracked

life is beautiful, the lights are purple

the women are complimenting each other

and then whispering the truth.

On the drive home, my friend turns

to me and says,

“you’re just an oddity

no one understands

or gets you

so don’t get angry

because they just don’t.

I’ve known you for years

and I get it

but that girl who said

she knew you but never met you

she knew where you lived

she knew all about you

and you, shaking her hands

nice to meet you.

She said, nice to finally meet you.”

I swear the night just got weirder

and stranger

couldn’t wait to get the fuck

out and stop defending

my philosophy

my Nine West shoes

my vegan food

my new hair

my books

my poems

my art

I need to seriously be drunk

to face society girls.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Wavy

All insipidly  wavy inside of me

like the texture of my hair 

yet you reach for it.

Some songs can bring me 

to the edge of the sea

ready to plunge, 

others suck my soul bare

Pain pulling each string

piece by piece.

 

Most women love to gas up, pile in the bags

pretend they are content

and read Fifty Shades as if it’s a masterpiece. 

I do roll my eyes, and admit I am

a literary snob. Don’t hug

me unless you are ready for the

studded belt. Don’t kiss me 

either, my lipstick stains. Don’t emoji 

me, I’m not sold on it. But thank you

for the laughter,

as much as you take

away me essence

you give it back in abundance

I am so topsy-turvy in love

regardless of what I write

or how clever you think I am

you never need to read it. Pretend

I do not write. Let me smoke and 

drink wine discussing art and all 

I look forward to, nothing I’ve left

unscathed. Rumors unfurled,

denying everything but the way the 

smoke exhales

I love it when you love me

for myself and nothing else

you hate me so passionately

it is what I need. Both in one 

day, in one sentence. You only 

know. 

it has kept me invincible

to men who try to sneak in

between my monologues.