Your eyes

When I think about your eyes

or see you in a picture

my heart tugs (weakens)

I feel as if

someone is pulling my insides out

tearing me up

ripping my heart

into tiny pieces of paper floating in the sky

then I put your picture away

I try to concentrate on the news



the hue they cast

how they sparkled ( I swear)

when you smiled

I think of how

you could have plastered my chipped walls in less than a day

so insignificant to others but heartbreaking to me

you were the first man to love me

the first man to leave me

you flew away

and time to time you come to visit

I see you in the shape of a

monarch butterfly

a cardinal bird

you find my lost things

you leave me gifts

I know it is you

with your twinkling brown pupils

and brilliant mind.

My tears are formed in the shape of

an angel, satyr, Minotaur, Nereid

and all the mythological creatures

you read to me

when I looked up

into your shimmering eyes.

The cancer took away the shine in your eyes

but I know you still remembered me

your daughter

and how I stole you away for a few minutes

and took you outside to see the bright sun

to escape that hospital smell that chokes us.

Alexios & Elysia

Alexios & Elysia #13


As Tommy pulled the chair out for me, his strong arms slightly touched my arms and I quickly pulled away.

He looked at me, “I don’t have a disease, you know,” and he laughed with a sparkle of something funny in his eyes.

“I know,” I said, but did I really? He could have a sexually transmitted disease for all I knew. I like the feeling of his skin on mine, fuck. This place was seriously tiny. I looked around and counted six other people here.

He was staring at me and then I remembered to stop thinking. “How did you find this place? You haven’t been in Montreal that long.”

“Actually…” he looked around the restaurant, “I was here before Alexios came,” he confessed looking at me intently.


“Look, Ellie, I track vampires. That’s what I’m good at. Don’t look at me so shocked.” Tommy grabbed the menu and looked down reading it as if he had to concentrate…like what could this whole in the wall actually offer? Cheeseburger specialties?

“No, they have a real good menu,” he said not looking up. Shit! He read my mind again.

“Would you stop that?”

His head popped up and his eyes darkened.  “I really haven’t done it that often. You don’t know anything and that prick of an ass lover of yours is not revealing much. He likes to leave you hanging, doesn’t he?” He nodded to the waitress to come over. I couldn’t believe how he said such offensive comments and then continued on in the conversation like nothing was wrong.

“I’m sorry for being a bastard, I can’t control it,” he winked at me.

“You better stop reading my mind or I’m leaving.” I got up and then he stood up. “The only way I’ll sit is if you promise me to not do that again. It’s creeping me out.”

“Okay, I promise,” he said.

The waitress looked from me to Tommy confused. “Are you leaving?” she asked in French; her short black skirt revealed long legs and spiked heels. Her tight black t-shirt left nothing to the imagination.

We both sat down and Tommy replied, “No,” his eyes never leaving mine.

“Can I order for you?” he asked me. I nodded my head yes.

“Deux filet de sole avec du riz et deux verres du vin blanc.”

“Oui, merci.”

“Hold on, you speak French?”

“Yes, I speak French, I speak many languages of love,” he said as his bright blue eyes stared right into mine. He made me squirm. I quickly turned around and blocked my thoughts (just in case).

“So, tell me, what is the real story with Alexios?” I had to know everything.

“I’ll tell you what I know, but Ellie, before I start can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure,” I said hesitatingly.

“Why do you think you were attracted to a vampire?”

I shrug my shoulders, “He treated me like a lady,” I said casually, brushing the hair off my face.

The waitress arrived with our wine and we remained quiet until she poured it. “By the time I found out the truth…I had fallen badly for Alexios.” The waitress looked at me and then at Tommy. I guess she realized we weren’t together. Suddenly, her whole composure changed.

“Would you like anything else?” she looked directly at Tommy. He completely ignored her or pretended to at least. I twirled with my hair…wow, some women can be so obvious.

“No, thank you,” he gave her a quick smile that clearly indicated he was getting annoyed.

As soon as she was out of earshot, he blurted, “So you fell for a fuckin’ blood sucker?”

“I guess so.”

“You’re cute when you play with your hair.”

“Don’t.” I put my hand on the stem of the wine glass.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t compliment me.”

“You don’t like compliments?” He picked up his wine glass. “Cheers…here’s to no compliments.”

“Alexios?” I said, ignoring his remarks and clinking wine glasses with him.

“Well, Alexios is one of those vampires on my hot list because he has murdered many women, and not just any woman, the ones with certain powers. He lures them in with his looks, in my opinion, though, he is butt ugly. When I look at him, I see all his ugliness.” He took a sip of his wine.

“Go on…” I urged him. I needed to hear it all.

“The woman just before you, seven years ago, was a Polish medium. She knew what he was, but she fell for him anyway. He sucked all her powers dry and left her for dead,” he glanced away, “I was too late and I vowed to myself it wouldn’t happen again.” He looked so angry and hurt. “I don’t know what lies he told you…of how much he loves you and blah blah bullshit…but I saw him. I fuckin’ saw him do it.”

“You did?” I felt sick.

“I almost had him, too, but his friend Freddy, who is also on my list…trapped me.” He waited for a reaction from me.

“How did he trap you?”

“In a fuckin’ net. I couldn’t escape.” He took a swig of his wine and finished his drink. His eyes were burning with rage now. “Is that enough for you?” I knew there was more.

“What else, Tommy?”

“He made me watch.”

Alexios & Elysia

Alexios & Elysia #12

The next day I woke up with a migraine that wouldn’t quit. I thought over everthing that Tommy had said to me and realized in a twisted way that what he said made sense. I knew that I had to do something to find Alexios to clear everything up, but I had no way in getting in touch with him. Plus, Tommy was waiting and watching me to see if Alexios would come over. How could I get Alexios alone?

I decided to do my own spying starting tonight. I would go out again and see if Tommy or Alexios would follow me. If Alexios knew that Tommy was watching my every move he wouldn’t show himself here, but perhaps in a public place, somewhere we used to go…that’s it! I’ll go to Cafe Laurier by myself and then go to the bathroom and wait. He was bound to show up. It sounded ridiculous, but I was out of fresh ideas.

I wore a dress…why not? Tommy may be obnoxious, but he was kind of right…I should dress up once in a while. I curled my frizzy hair and put on this blue-green dress I looked at myself in the mirror and changed my mind instantly. It’s just not me.

I was too overdressed. I put on my jeans and t-shirt and my high-heeled boots. I applied some makeup, earrings, jewellery and changed purses. Okay, now I was ready.

I saw Tommy as soon as I left my house.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he shouted from across the street. He was parked in his car, listening to his ipod and giving me a thumbs up. Has he forgotten I told him to fuck off last night?

I ignored him and turned to go the opposite direction. I had to catch the bus. I heard him start the car. I looked around to see if Alexios was anywhere, but he wouldn’t be in plain sight. My plan really sucked.

I heard another car right by my side and a blue sedan passengar side door swung open.

“Get in,” a voice scolded, “quick!” the driver had an English accent.

I peered in and saw Alexios ducked in the back seat, gesturing for me to jump in. I glanced at Tommy and saw him screech out of his parking spot with a glare in his eyes. Our eyes met briefly. I hesitated for one split second and then jumped in the back seat. Tommy was speeding up close behind as the driver screeched off.

“Alexios! Where have you been?” I shouted as I landed in the back seat.

“Sh!” he placed his hands on his lips.

“I think he’s behind us! Shit!” the driver said.

“Elysia, Freddy. Freddy is my friend from way back. Why the fuck is Athanasios  following you?” Alexios looked at me.

“Nice to meet you, love.” Freddy said and I half-smiled through the rear-view mirror.

“Is he still there?” I asked.

“You bet your pretty little face,” Freddy replied.

“What do we do?” I asked.

“I lose him like a bad habit,” Freddy smirked. “Hold on, love, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Alexios, stay low so vampire killer doesn’t see you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alexios replied and looked straight at me. “Pretend you’re talking to Freddy.”

“You actually think Tommy doesn’t know you’re in the car?” I looked at him incredulously. “If it’s one thing he’s not, it’s stupid.”

“Tommy? You mean Athanasios? You met him? How?” His green eyes turned darker and dangerous.

“He just showed up at my window one day and then again at a bar when I was out with Dima.”

“Your window? A bar? What the fuck?”

“He told me a lot of stuff,” I said staring at Alexios and twirling the bracelet that Tommy had given me for my protection.

Alexios looked at my bracelet and glared at me, “Where did you get that bracelet?” he lifted his arm to touch it and it stung him back as if it burned him. “He fuckin’ gave it to you!” I saw fear in his eyes. “Elysia, don’t believe a thing he tells you. Athanasios wants to kill me. He’s full of lies. He’ll say anything to trap me!”

The car was going so fast I felt like puking. Also I was trying to have this conversation with Alexios without really looking at him and I kept on turning to see if Tommy was close behind. This whole scene had me in a hysterical state.

“I came to make sure you’re alright.” Alexios said softly brushing my arm with his hand. “I love you, Elysia,” he whispered so Freddy could’t hear.

“I lost the fucker!” Freddy hollered. He stopped the vehicle to the side and signalled for me to get out.

“Quickly, Elysia, remember I told you that Athanasios wants to kill me? His family has been killing vampires for centuries. He’s highly dangerous. He’ll do anything to kill me. The truth is, I was ordered to keep you close to me because your family has a strong connection to vampires.”

“I know, Tommy told me everything.”

“Could you stop calling him that?”

“Whatever. It doesn’t really matter.”

“It’s like you’re buddies or something.”

“Well, we’re not! ”

“You seem different. What is it?”

“First of all, why did your hand burn when you touched the bracelet? And why were you ‘ordered’ to follow me? You sent me all those letters because you were ‘ordered’ to? You don’t give a shit about me. You never loved me.”

“What the fuck?” his eyes narrowed and he appeared evil.

‘I don’t believe you.”

“Alexios, we don’t have time for drama, we have strict orders,” Freddy said. Suddenly, out of nowhere we felt a hit from behind.

“Fuck! It’s that fucker.” Freddy hollered. “You have to let her out! It’s too dangerous,” Freddy said.

“Let me out!” I screamed.

“Elysia, I have to explain,” he continued. I opened the door and I heard him say something about another time and that he still loved me, but I wasn’t listening. I felt Tommy’s hands pulling me from the sidewalk. I hadn’t even realized I was on the concrete floor. My head was spinning. He was telling me to get into his car and I was not responding.

“Babyface, if you don’t start moving that sexy little bum into my car, I’m going to lose the lying son of a bitch, blood-sucking fiend!”

I jumped up and into his car quickly and he placed the car roughly in drive. It was a small car for such a tall man. I saw his long legs under the steering wheel and I felt a slight movement deep in my belly.

“You like what you see?” his blue eyes laughed as he caught me staring at him.

“Keep your eyes on the road,” I said curtly looking straight ahead, “Where are they anyway?”

“I lost them, fuck, but at least I found you.” He glanced at me sideways and ran his hand through his dark hair. “I was worried,” he said as if he was admitting a sin.

“You shouldn’t worry about me. I am safe with Alexios. He loves me.”

“Vampires are incapable of love. They obsess, they lust, they conquer, but they can’t love as humans love. Their emotions are imblanced. Ellie, you’ve ben a fool. It’s a shame Alexios is a player. He is a vampire who has left a trail of broken hearts and limbs across the world. You are just another victim…if he kills you, he kills the connection to your grandmother, which is a powerful connection that has been known to deter vampires. Believe me, it was not love. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I could tell by the look in your eyes, I am..and we’ve fuckin’ lost him!”

It was quiet for once. He leaned back in his driver’s seat and punched some buttons from behind his steering wheel and then I heard Pat Benatar’s Treat Me Right loud and clear.

I glanced at his expression and he had this stupid grin on his face. “I think this song is apropos.” Apropos? His eyes stared into mine a few seconds too long. Fuck, he was right. This song was perfect.

“Ellie, when are you going to get it through your lovely face that vampire boy is not your ideal boyfriend?”

“Okay, tell me more,” I sighed.

“Not while I’m driving. I know a little place.” He blasted the song so we couldn’t talk so I listened to the lyrics and did the only thing apropos, I sang along.

Alexios & Elysia

Alexios & Elysia # 11


“He killed people?”

“What do you think? He was a vampire that never killed people? You have to wake up and smell the coffee, my dear. Your great-grandmother, Elizabeth, had a gift and  you have one too. You see, you are exactly like her, except you’ve been blocked.”


He drank from his beer and glanced around the bar. “This place is a real dive. I have to show you around. Your city has some cool bars and you choose this one?”

“I like the music.”

“That’s the only thing it’s got going for it,” Tommy looked back at me. “Yes, where was I? Blocked…and try to take a lucky guess, who has blocked you?”

“Don’t tell me, Alexios!”

He put his hands together and clapped, “Ladies and gents we’ve got a winner!” he said his blue eyes smiling at me as if he was a comedian.

“What’s wrong with  you? Is everything a joke to you?” I said angrily.

“Is everything so serious to you? You have to loosen up, Ellie, do you mind if I call you Ellie?”

No one has ever called me Ellie before, he had my head spinning with all his information. His eyes widened and he smirked. Man, his good looks threw me off. I played with my hair nervously.

“Are my looks distracting you, Ellie?”

“You are really obnoxious, Tommy. Who said anything about your looks?”

“I see you like my name,” he laughed.

“I never said that!” Shit I forgot he read minds. Block out everything, I said to myself.

“Ellie, you are quite a spitfire” he took a sip of his beer, and finished it off. He winked at the barmaid and gestured for another two. “Drink up,” he said to me.

I took a few sips trying not to think of anything then I asked him, “How could Alexios block my gift?”

“Alexios was on a mission when he met you. It wasn’t an accident. He was acting and playing a game with you because only a vampire’s presence could make Elizabeth’s spirit guide impenetrable.”

“How about when he left for all those years?”

“Didn’t he send you something? His words and scent have a magical spell around you. It is as if he is surrounding you. He left because he was head over heels for you. No longer valuable. A love-sick puppy,” Tommy rolled his eyes and gestured with his index finger to gag. “He was told to keep on sending you words, your lovely love letters you cherish so, you have to fuckin’ burn them. Stop reading them on the bus. He did this so your bond could not disconnect, and your gift be revealed to you.”

“This sounds absurd. Wait up, how do you know I’ve read his letters on the bus? You’ve been following me?”

“Ever since you’ve been wearing the bracelet I gave you, are you thinking about Alexios as much?” He ignored my question with another question. He was a fast-talker.

“Come to think of it, no.”

“You see, the connection is starting to wear off, thankfully,” he looked at my shoes out of nowhere and up my body to my face. I felt self-conscious and moved in my seat slightly. Everything Tommy said was insane, but somehow made sense. “You really should try to dress up. I’m sure you would look amazing in a dress. Why do you cover your body?”

“That’s none of your business! How I dress or what I wear shouldn’t concern you!”

“Ah, my sweet Ellie, that’s where you are wrong. I am here to catch that lying Casanova of a boyfriend you have, and you are my bait.”

I stood up and looked for Dima. She caught my look and got up. I nudged my head to her toward the exit door, shaken up. “Tommy, go fuck yourself!”

His jaw dropped and immediately his blue eyes twinkled. He stood up and hovered over me, he curtsied like I was some kind of duchess and said, “I had a lovely time talking to you, the pleasure was all mine, obviously, and now I’ll take my leave and go fuck myself, but just so you could know, I really think a dress would compliment you, but you look beautiful in anything you wear,” and he walked away before I got a chance to. I wanted to walk out on him!

He followed me? Alexios was on a mission? I had a gift? What the fuck?

Dima rushed over to me, “What was all that about?”

I looked at my friend Dima and felt my knees go weak, my head dizzy and then blackness.

I hit the hard floor to the tune of Depeche Mode’s, World in my Eyes.