Categories
Poetry

The Arch of 2016

 

It wasn’t up until the year ended that I thought of all the things I replaced you with. It was how the sun sets from my balcony

how the sun sets when I drive

It was how the day never ends early enough. How the night is so long that even sleep does not help.

I have been writing before you existed and when I do not reply to the calls,  I have stopped the sucking of my soul.

I hear the crying, but lock myself in rooms and escape. Make fun of me,

joke about my art

watch me drive on black ice

never  buy my book

you were the first

and the last

typical cliche

horrible poetry being written

on the other side

and sometimes I compromise

other times I stand tall.

Why didn’t you kiss him hello? I’m moody.

That’s not an answer.

My daughter tries to get me

but she questions my motives

I have no reply sometimes.

I don’t conform sweetie, that’s all.

She breaks the rules

and here I am

trying to guide her

in this mess.

No answers to the arch of 2016

but do not want to see death

this year

want to bury the past

and conjure it up

in fragments

in poems.

Never challenge me

I break down

too easily.

Change my mind

like the Montreal weather.

You deplete me

with your absence.

No more fight in me.

Focus on my books

and bury the year under the rubble

of regret.

People on the other side

of the screen

mostly want

to bring you to your knees

and point fingers

at your weakness.

it’s toxic in here

in my head,

in my world

but it’s a new year

and I must charge up

my battery

or I’ll be drained by

the scavengers

that hunt for the art they can’t make.

 

 

Categories
poetry

Fall apart

I’m holding on

only to

fall apart

over and over

until all

my limits

are made

into poetry.

Until all my body parts

turn into your leaves

of grass.

This is my sanctuary.

How I love your roots

that pull my gravity

toward your earth.

All the steps

to your street

are silent.

You know how

to hurt me

with no dirt.

I sent you my love

in a sealed package

you ripped through me

instead of opening me

up gently.

Who cares where i live?

My middle-aged craze

I have never changed

I have always been in crisis.

i flushed my cigarettes

broke all the bottles

all I have

is this pen

and paper.

Most of the time

it’s all I need.

other times

it’s what

I hate the most.

Categories
poetry

untitled

if you could just dare

to fuck the art in me.

the kind of sex

that would put

us both on fire.

the part where you

never leave in

the morning. i

disappoint you

all the time,

with my past,

my present,

my unstable future.

if you could just dare

to love me,

none of it would even matter.

 

(this will be in my poetry book in a section with no titles)

 

 

Categories
poetry

June second

the lights are red, but i want to go up

into the sky. drive right through

the pink and purple all night long.

this is my porn. you text me

your naughty, i’ll dream

in the fucking clouds. it’s june

second, two thousand and fifteen,

remember the 80’s? i relive them.

another full moon? do you

really care all that much? stop

howling. i feel it in every cell.

you’re fucked up.

I think my imagination

is so wild

even you

would run away.

but, you stay, you

make me believe

that the sunset

was a masterpiece

and the darkness

its palette.

the moon controls us

like love, we’re

helpless

to its pulling effect.

catch me tonight at

nine pm…its’ my son’s

award ceremony,

but i’ll still be falling

from the sky.

don’t forget to look up

and extend your arms,

even if you don’t see me.

Categories
First novel Instagram

i thought

Categories
poetry

long ago

long ago you came to me

with broken wings and sexy words

you made me smile

brightening up my day

with your jokes

enlightening my nights with your hands

you said all the right words in all

the right lights

daylight, nightlight, afternoon delight,

you grasped it all

as I slept naked

and woke up to your grip,

the beginning you said

is worth the end

and kissed that spot on my neck

no one cared to

the back of my neck

I hid from

you found the tracks of my veins

with fuel

in your engine

full for me.

I know I disappeared

did not mean to

but the sky

called out to me

when I ached.

I know I hate you

did not mean to

but you pulled

me in so hard

I fell on you

and I let the love unfold.

Even if it was a change of

a pillow case

or a shake of a sheet

we lay in it for a while

and your scent

is what I miss most.

One day in another life

we will meet

and you will find

all those places on my body

that you missed.

Categories
poetry

To follow

In the centre of my universe I found you awake
up past midnight as usual
driving down highway 15 reaching
centre ville
and vinyl record stores on Bishop

so I followed you

all out of Bukowski again
twitter has made him popular
he says stroking his beard like I don’t know much
I shrug my shoulder and smile
don’t know much about that
I read him before indie
before coffee
and now I let him rest
he’s super tired
with your young generation and your attention span
you look familiar
he says
No I don’t
and I ignore him
before he talks about car crashes
National news
superheroes and writers.

I lost you on de la Montagne
where hotels will become condos with shops
and memories rubble.
I wanted to follow you
to a new uprising
but the ” manifestations”
students banging pots
took over the laureate prizes;
when I was a student I banged other things,
spoke about philosophy
across from Concordia
and made love with words
like I always do.
My hair touched my ass
my poems well hidden
and no one followed me.
How things change
yet still
stay the same on this
emotional ride lost on one way streets
so far from your world order
and parallel highways
but I’ll still follow you
anywhere
except in my dreams.

Categories
poetry

Urges

I fell into his dream

did not want to wake up

are you believing everything you read again?

stop that shit

believe in nothing for a while

so drove into the city

bought vampire socks from sports stores

and white boots on St-Laurent

from a cute Parisian

twice his age and twice the addiction

everything is a message in the air

around me

straying and trespassing

into those brief moments

we shared

help me through

the long day

the snowstorm residue

lack of sunshine on my soul

press your lips up against mine

I will write you a romantic love poem

about how much of a beast I could be

instead of a beauty

block my love from your ego

my hair always hangs down

and when it doesn’t

that’s when you should worry

or never think of me at all

better off

ignoring my rants

poetry

books

you’re more of a pleasure seeker

more of a traveler into dark passages

I will lay on the grass

alone

staring at the sky right above Montreal

as if

a sky needs a name

or a poem

needs a title.

As if

you could ever understand me.

Categories
Crush

March 10: My book release

To my followers and the amazing people I love to read,

Tomorrow is the day my book comes out. Above is the link to amazon and below is my blurb.

Blurb:

It was love at first sight when Maria met Jack on a beach all those years ago. But when Jack suddenly disappears, Maria is thrust closer to Hunter, their long-time friend, taking them on a journey that changes all three of their lives forever.

Maria is a lonely young woman who finds love and acceptance with Jack, a free spirited musician. In Maria, Jack finally has the girl of his dreams by his side. When Jack introduces Maria to his best friend, Hunter, he feels an instant connection to Maria, but he buries his feelings—along with his secret that he’s a vampire—for the love of his friend.

Set in Saint-Tropez, Crush is a vampire tale with a twist. Spanning decades and delving into the past of each character in this thorny love triangle, it is about a woman who must choose between the man she’s in love with and the man who is her soul mate. Adventure, love, romance, and vampires all collide in this unique novel filled with powerful emotion, heartbreak, and the question of undying love.

I never thought this day would come. I have self-published with a co-author a trilogy, and yes, holding your book in your hand is exciting, but this ebook is my own project and thanks to MuseItUp Publishing I can easily say that my dream of publishing my own book has come true.

Thank you dear readers and writers so much for reading and following. Your support means the world to me.

Christina

Categories
poetry

Take

I want to give you what you ask for. I truly do

but all my shopping bags are full. Nothing for me

to buy here. No romance, no hope, no futile essence

sold in jars. I want to write you the most beautiful

love poem ever written, but that’s already been done

before.

Instead take my heart, I kept it wrapped up for you,

untouched, warm, full of soft beats, effects, sky dives

just for you. Yes, you wanted it and I say, take it.

I might write otherwise, but believe no poet’s words

until you kiss them off their lips. Believe nothing

until you read it in my eyes. Romance lives inside us

before the coffee, the sunrise, the putting on of the bra,

the makeup, the razor

it’s lying there

waiting for the lover’s alarm

to wake up

and pour some love

some hard sex

into its depths.

It’s so vast, you see, so structured

so enigmatically built that no one can

know the truth. I want you to love me

for all I am, but all you see is what I let you,

and all you give me are fragments.

Take it all or nothing at all. I live differently

think inside my head too much, love

without a thought, dream into a river

and float above the clouds.

This is the only way I can survive

before you wake up and tell me

how beautiful you are and special

before you pound your love at me

I am thinking that this rapture this title

of a poetry book

is just that.

Poems for hopeless fools like us.