Categories
poetry

One Eye

I opened up to the Universe

too soon, too much. Saw it all

in visions

that destroyed me.

“That’s your animal spirit,” she said.

I remember when I was a Chief

and my tribe burned down,

I watched in horror and cried

for days

starved myself

prayed to Mother Earth

stayed clear from the survivors

stalked my enemies.

Did she make it up?

Was eighty dollars an hour enough?

to forget my life?

to recreate a new one.

I wrote books for her

was an innocent lamb

in the name of literature;

she could not spell

write,

not sure of anything

except how ghosts hug me.

What was truth, fiction?

non-fiction.

She was in the shape

of my spirit guide,

as he was.

Sometimes it’s me

haunting myself.

I fell for her kindness

while she bit me.

Steal my words as yours

claim you did it all

one day

one eye

will see.

You cannot possess books

they have their own identity.

I keep most of it locked up

still you claim to see me,

until the day

betrayal became poison

in my blood

and I ran so far

I could not breathe in the forest

for a while.

I needed the ocean

to float in possessed words

names, titles…

crying is my medicine now

quit smoking

quit drinking

quit partying

when I saw her fangs.

“you see the beauty in people”

he said,

like it was a curse.

“Open your fucking eyes”

but

“this is what I love about you

you never see the bad in me.”

I took the dog for a walk

and found comfort in the arms

of a ghost

“you have to put up those walls again,” she said

Why?

“To protect yourself from the Universe.”

Trust in your spirit guide

as much as I’ve been fooled

it’s a gift.

Sometimes both become one

and all I see

is the violence

and darkness of the souls

that ate me up and

left me for dead.

Categories
Poems poetry Some of my poems

Watching Anna Karenina

When that empty breeze
brings upon memories
of how your kisses tasted so sweet
your arms around my neck
gently lifting me
the white love surrounding
us on the green grass
and how I bit your lip
in ecstasy
and teased you
until the fights turned
into mad sex
meeting lovers in corridors
behind screens
and how love stands alone
blocks cages and church icons
as anger is the new breed
of communication
while you look down my blouse
hard for me
wanting all of me
my insides filled with only you
if I could give you more of me
I would
but I am stuck
somewhere between who I was
and who I want to be
for I am on that unpredictable wave
forecast is fluctuating
my insides are tortured
with common folk
but your eyes
oh those fucking eyes
how they see through every piece
of me
that I toss and shed off
like my clothes
naked.

You can undress me
without a touch
love me
until we speak no more
of this
or silence me
with no words
that make me search for my own.

It is how you pursue me
without wanting to
battling yourself
me
Us
Them
Him
Her.

It is the death of us that preoccupies my mind rather than the birth.
One can die from a broken heart
and princesses and princes
are not immune
to clutching their heart
in torment.
No one can truly
forgive
betrayal.

I watch your strong back
as I leave you
no other choice
but to say goodbye
to the woman you
kissed on that fall day
and who loved you
with all her breath.