It’s 1973

i have authentic white tiny flowers in my hair

the way i was supposed to live

walking for my aunt, down the tiny cobblestone roads

in the middle of summer, following the gorgeous bride,

in the village, my parents were born and fell in love,

singing Greek songs in the open air,

watching how the Mediterranean sun plays golden tricks

on my mother’s short 70’s crew cut.

It’s 1979

on the plane with my dad

emergency landing to tend to the sick

his father is dying and everyone is talking about

olive trees. my hair is too short for Europe

my knees too knobby but everyone loves my accent

they say i’m beautiful

i sleep at the top of the hill with my cousin Mimika

and two other cousins have my name and moles.

I find it weird that we all look alike yet no one sees

the sun’s brilliance like me

or notices how the moon shines at twelve years old.

they want all my clothes and look at the brand names

while i care more about the sky and my grandmother’s sad eyes.

she likes to hug me like it’s the last time she will

every hug feels like her last hug.

i felt death hug me when she squeezed and kissed me like that.

we sleep in the afternoon or climb out the window to play with the hens.

It’s 1991

everyone my father loved has died

I’m backpacking through Europe with my best friend

and we visit my childhood

but it’s so long gone,

i slept all through Paros

Santorini saw all our dirty laundry

Pensioni Andre had no mirrors

so we hid well

under the sun’s rays.

Every day lasted forever

every love a lifetime.

It’s 1998

I’m three months pregnant in Agadir

and doing some kind of pregnancy test

it feels like this baby will live

and he does.

my life will never be the same again

i’m a mother

now.

It’s 2001

the ultrasound indicates it’s a girl

and i cry like a baby

praying she’ll stay warm and safe

and never leave me stranded.

with blood and tears.

it’s 2011

everyone sees Greece through the eyes of my children

and we love each other madly

every year

every ocean

brings us closer

to death

and the cup we were

meant to drink

together

and

finally alone

is full of memories

and our future is still

full of dreams.

he says no matter how old you are
you are always young to me

you never age.

i love you.

these are the years that grab me

make me cry to our song

and i sign death certificates.

i grab hold of my soul

and shake it a bit

then i silence it.

you thought you knew me

but truly it’s 1973

and the sun is the brightest i’ve ever witnessed

and my mother’s beauty haunts me.

It appears that muses speak

through the poet’s words

It appears that they are Greek

they stemmed from a legend

that we constantly bend…

could my father have been Zeus?

my mother Mnemosyne?

Did you see verses in my eyes?

poetry in my lies? did I inspire you to

delve deeper into your psyche?

Calliope or Erato? whom can

you devour?

None of it is true

yet all of it is how you

see me as a water nymph

say the truth you fucking do.

I can be wickedly cruel

or a spitfire that never sleeps

aches and bleeds for

no one and everyone.

Here, primarily for you.

You see I could remember

everything you ever told me

no books are needed

I’m from ancient Greece

it’s all in my memory

as you decreed.

no computers, no typewriters

no quill pens

no seals

just my lips reciting

your words

and my physical beauty

inspiring your epic poetry.

But all that was from another life

one that glows in golden hue

in a time

where you felt time

in every core of you.

We lived it then

and modern love

has killed all muses

into eating their poet alive.

They go on their knees

now

and wait in a line

for the next one

to come along

and inspire.

once upon a time

i was the only one

that read your eyes

and gave you art.

There was never a time for us

since you are the only heartbreak

I feel in every part of my body.

Dive into my words

let your soul swim

with mine. we will float

for centuries

but beware

of my love

it bites, and

self-heals

creates rivers

where forests end.

It can explode in

orgasmic verse

as sex and writing

combine

and I drink another shot

hollering at you

to write, motherfucker, write

and I scream at you

that no one can take my freedom

or my voice.

you say I’m glowing

and all you want to do

is touch my skin

in all the ways you’ve missed.

Come here and heal my scars

with your wounds.

Together in our silence

unite and untie these strings

this gird around my heart.

Come break me apart all over again

until my breath is yours

and my light

steals your voice.

This lil’ heart is yours now

broke down all my walls

with how close

you came to my soul

just by uttering my words

for you

to me.

I told you, if writing hurts

you’re doing it right.

and you realize this truth

so hold my hand

dive with me

into the depth

and mystery

of the ocean.

I know how much

you need me

to breathe underwater

with you.

I shall see thee there.