Use me as a Motif

Listening to subscribed channels about loving myself

is probably more harmful than actually loving.

You can abandon people and they are still in the dark

even if I research the best methods of unloving someone

it can’t be done. Rooms wait for people to walk into

and as long as I wait for you, you can’t come in

to see me.  It’s fine.  I prefer it that way.  Death beds

are such beautiful places to end up in. Heaven

is a place you described once, while I wasn’t

in the room. I can see you there talking to her

and pretending I don’t exist. It’s fine. It’s not fine.

I’m absent from this part of the story.

You can use me up until I say no more. It’s coming.

That day you dread.  Death sucks up love at will.

You can go about your silence. It has no guilt.

Don’t wanna know

It’s been such a long time I haven’t seen your face

maybe you don’t believe in the same books anymore

or philosophers

or artist

or punctuation.

I see a garden stopped growing

journals overflowed with moss

I am giving up on this whole

we got so much time

because honestly, we don’t

time soaks us with truth

and keeps on creating death

to remind us

that we won’t live forever

even if you sing about it.