Drowning in Carnations

You said write a poem

about New York moments

we almost had in our arms.

I ignore you

only focus on the times

we had;

the walk hand in hand on Ste-Catherine street

the xmas gifts I gave you

in April—

you forget everything I remember,

that is how memory prevails

I could never be true to you.

I apologize for the past,

present, and dead future.

I apologize for being cruel

for changing when you could not.

You were not who I thought you were,

I wasn’t who you wanted me to be.

Bitterness is not changing

aging is ice skating on my dreams.

I held back

this is why I am not in muddy love.

I gave you corner bits

you wanted me whole.

I apologize for not loving you,

when I said I did.

At the time I felt love.

I am not a global liar.

I was drowning in red

carnations,

the smell suffocating me.

I wanted to melt in your arms

instead I was alone again

amongst five day old flowers

and a fake necklace story.

#januaryfalls18

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11 comments

  1. Cate Derham · January 30, 2018

    Amazing!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chrissy · January 30, 2018

      Thank you Cate! Miss you xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • Cate Derham · January 30, 2018

        Love you! xoxo

        Like

      • Cate Derham · January 30, 2018

        I left a comment on IG. This is a great piece, Chrissy! I love the simmering emotion and the resignation in the poet’s voice.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Chrissy · January 30, 2018

        Thank you Cate. I appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  2. deuxiemepeau · January 31, 2018

    Always so powerful, you are inspiring! Loving the line ‘Aging is ice skating on my dreams’

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Souldiergirl · February 4, 2018

    Hi beautiful 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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