Where are you?
I know I have to act a certain way
the good wife, friend, mother,
daughter. I remember when I spoke up
and ran away to forget who I was.
Bleeding is an external vision
all the internal gods are turning away
misdiagnosing me with mental disorders
I am merely showing more of my 49 years
it gets hard to deliver packages
of love when everyone dissects your words
why are you running
Well it’s quite a miracle I am still alive
after all my accidents
why are you not running.
I wish I was better at human contact
I wish I was comfortable in my skin
but I never had three wishes.
My problem is I overestimate people
think we are all the same one love
when we are so alienated.
I would rather stay home
write, live in the world
I am too soft .
You can’t convert gays
it can’t be done,
no amount of articles on the internet
can convince me
I see too many rainbows
to understand dogmas.
Some days it is harder to be normal
other days it’s another blank bullet.
I walked out of the restaurant. It wasn’t the first time either.
The last time I did that Greg got me so mad.
Now, my rule is,
If I’m hurt, I have to look out for myself. I may just be too fragile.
I crack more than others do
I’m made this way.
Sorry, but I can’t be who I was.
I’m not going back.