Walking Out

Where are you?

I know I have to act a certain way

the good wife, friend, mother,

daughter. I remember when I spoke up

and ran away to forget who I was.
Bleeding is an external vision

all the internal gods are turning away

misdiagnosing me with mental disorders

I

I am merely showing more of my 49 years

it gets hard to deliver packages

of love when everyone dissects your words

clothes

shoes

handbags

food

love

why are you running

Well it’s quite a miracle I am still alive

after all my accidents

why are you not running.

I wish I was better at human contact

conversation

I wish I was comfortable in my skin

but I never had three wishes.

My problem is I overestimate people

think we are all the same one love

one tribe

when we are so alienated.

I would rather stay home

write, live in the world

of words

I am too soft .

You can’t convert gays

it can’t be done,

no amount of articles on the internet

can convince me

I see too many rainbows

to understand dogmas.

Some days it is harder to be normal

other days it’s another blank bullet.

I walked out of the restaurant. It wasn’t the first time either.

The last time I did that Greg got me so mad.

Now, my rule is, 

If I’m hurt, I have to look out for myself. I may just be too fragile.

I crack more than others do

I’m made this way.

Sorry, but I can’t be who I was.

I’m not going back.

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12 comments

  1. seaangel4444 · October 29, 2017

    This is so powerful, Chrissy. Well done my dear! Cher xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chrissy · October 29, 2017

      Thank you for saying! It came out quick. πŸ™β€οΈπŸ–€

      Liked by 1 person

      • seaangel4444 · October 29, 2017

        And that is sometimes how it goes, isn’t it, Chrissy? At times it is almost as if we are taking dictation, if you know what I mean. Thank you for sharing this poignant work. ❀ ❀ xo

        Liked by 1 person

      • Chrissy · October 30, 2017

        Well, I can only be grateful you read it and connected to my words. As a poet, this is all I wish for. β€οΈπŸ™β€οΈ

        Liked by 1 person

      • seaangel4444 · October 30, 2017

        Ah, bless. Mission accomplished, my dear! That’s why I love your writing!! xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

      • Chrissy · October 30, 2017

        Tysm! Have a wonderful evening πŸ’•

        Like

  2. justagirllost2 · October 30, 2017

    I love this, C. Your strength is always felt. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. vishalbheeroo · October 30, 2017

    Superb poetry. There are so many words that speak to me like the bubble in our drinks. Fabulous.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. MagneticVirgo · January 9, 2018

    beautiful…emotionally explosive!

    Liked by 1 person

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