It does not matter who forgets who
or who lives in the past. The moment
is all we have, switching gears to
satisfy our needs. I left my heart in
the parking lot, it happened so quickly
did not even know I was going to quit you.
I meant for us to last like that movie
twenty years of longing and never having.
I meant for us to be together in my head
not in real life. It can never be, so why
risk my sanity? I spent so many days
in the hospital, I know one day I will
ask for help. I hope you answer my call.
I hope when you see my name on your
phone, you won’t get scared of the truth.
I have these knots in my stomach
my heart, sometimes I can’t even orgasm
because I’m blocked, stuffed up on life
bleeding sinus pills. I wipe your scent
off of me, when all I want to do is inhale it.
You want someone else
I can never be her
I have known no one but you
and this is what heartache tastes like
at nine fifteen in the morning,
I have to run
to another life
but one last hug
you forgot my present again
and I am coming to believe
I am the only one who gives
again and again.
This is what I am made of
a lifetime of silence
spurting forth words
for you to read.