Night Walkers

I am waiting outside for my lift

It’s only 9:25

on a Saturday night

and I could get drunk

tonight. October feels like August,

and I let my mind go to that place

I want to forget.

 

There was a boy

I kissed at a party once.

I was such a typical bad girl

the kind that never regrets.

Kisses and doesn’t tell.

 

His name was D.

He died a year later

and I blamed myself

for letting him

touch me

when I shouldn’t have

been so drunk.

My brother found us

half-naked

booze on our breath

lips swollen.

I felt like an actress

I ran to the bathroom

and adjusted my panties

my bra was off

and my jean zipper was stuck.

I was on the dark side now.

I have tried to forget

but dead people haunt me.

He wanted me for years.

I just wanted him that one night.

 

Brothers aren’t supposed

to see their sisters

like that.

 

It’s not a mistake

if you let it happen

and other cliches

I told myself

to not go to the funeral.

 

I prefer cemeteries

to confess my sins.

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