I notice your disappearance
more than your appearance. I heard
the silence, it makes these ticking sounds
in my ear. Loud. Intrusive.
Silence can bleed too. I see it with
my third eye, it hurts to feel
everyone’s pain when I walk
into a party with my high heels
on and my studded pants. They
want to understand the poet
and why she is smiling. They want
to read between the drinks,
but they missed the hors d’oeuvres
busy predicting if it’s roast beef
or veal. Cranberry and vodka please.
Make it a double.
Hey, aren’t you so and so
I nod at eyes that stare.
I do not mind being alone,
actually who needs a man
at a time like this?
Who needs to check if he is
looking at everyone else
except you? Who needs a man
to walk into a room full of
strangers turned friends? I can glide
like a Superhero. Approach gently,
Your disappearance makes me
comprehend why I stay married.
I like it that way.
My independence, my freedom,
my spirit coming back to me.
Three a.m. calls to my own husband.
I could be drunk, offensive,
obnoxious, poetic, aggressive,
down girl, he says.
I could come back as a regular wife,
I say. Hold on.
Now why would I ever want that?