Tears and Confetti

I stopped thinking about how you would

react to something I do years ago. The red

cardinal bird reminds me all the time

of the brown color of your eyes. Death descends

and takes away hope. It takes away

all the achievements you have missed

while sleeping. If only I could

combine my tears with confetti

to celebrate your death and my life

in one afternoon. I could sit

with your ghost and tell you

about all the stories you missed.

Besides myself, first thing I would

tell you is thank you for protecting

my son from being hit by a car,

from his injuries, I know it was you.

(and so does he)

Thank you for watching over us

and wiping my tears when I drive.

I know it was you. Thank you

for reminding me of what is

important even when I cannot

hear your voice, it still echoes

inside me. Thank you for the

realization that being your

daughter made me proud as well

and when people came to

tell me what you have done

for them over the years

I saw you in another light

that brightened up my world.

All these facets, I miss.

All these journeys we never took.

That time you stopped the car

on the way to New York City,

took picture of the fall trees

in the middle of the highway,

Mom shouting we would get killed

your arms around my back

smiling at the camera.

I know it was you.

 

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