I stopped thinking about how you would
react to something I do years ago. The red
cardinal bird reminds me all the time
of the brown color of your eyes. Death descends
and takes away hope. It takes away
all the achievements you have missed
while sleeping. If only I could
combine my tears with confetti
to celebrate your death and my life
in one afternoon. I could sit
with your ghost and tell you
about all the stories you missed.
Besides myself, first thing I would
tell you is thank you for protecting
my son from being hit by a car,
from his injuries, I know it was you.
(and so does he)
Thank you for watching over us
and wiping my tears when I drive.
I know it was you. Thank you
for reminding me of what is
important even when I cannot
hear your voice, it still echoes
inside me. Thank you for the
realization that being your
daughter made me proud as well
and when people came to
tell me what you have done
for them over the years
I saw you in another light
that brightened up my world.
All these facets, I miss.
All these journeys we never took.
That time you stopped the car
on the way to New York City,
took picture of the fall trees
in the middle of the highway,
Mom shouting we would get killed
your arms around my back
smiling at the camera.
I know it was you.