The Arch of 2016

 

It wasn’t up until the year ended that I thought of all the things I replaced you with. It was how the sun sets from my balcony

how the sun sets when I drive

It was how the day never ends early enough. How the night is so long that even sleep does not help.

I have been writing before you existed and when I do not reply to the calls,  I have stopped the sucking of my soul.

I hear the crying, but lock myself in rooms and escape. Make fun of me,

joke about my art

watch me drive on black ice

never  buy my book

you were the first

and the last

typical cliche

horrible poetry being written

on the other side

and sometimes I compromise

other times I stand tall.

Why didn’t you kiss him hello? I’m moody.

That’s not an answer.

My daughter tries to get me

but she questions my motives

I have no reply sometimes.

I don’t conform sweetie, that’s all.

She breaks the rules

and here I am

trying to guide her

in this mess.

No answers to the arch of 2016

but do not want to see death

this year

want to bury the past

and conjure it up

in fragments

in poems.

Never challenge me

I break down

too easily.

Change my mind

like the Montreal weather.

You deplete me

with your absence.

No more fight in me.

Focus on my books

and bury the year under the rubble

of regret.

People on the other side

of the screen

mostly want

to bring you to your knees

and point fingers

at your weakness.

it’s toxic in here

in my head,

in my world

but it’s a new year

and I must charge up

my battery

or I’ll be drained by

the scavengers

that hunt for the art they can’t make.

 

 

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21 thoughts on “The Arch of 2016

  1. This whole thing is another beautiful fucking masterpiece…but this:
    You deplete me with your absence.

    …is something that grabs me right now. The vacuum left behind where emotion used to stand.

    Love this and you, Poetess. ♡

    Liked by 2 people

      1. the best part of these types of film is listening to people’s perception but we all come out with something different, don’t we? Rosebud just conjures up so much. Love that x

        Liked by 2 people

  2. The following seems to speak a lot of truth to me:

    “I don’t conform sweetie, that’s all.
    She breaks the rules
    and here I am
    trying to guide her
    in this mess.”

    Chrissy, you certainly seem like the type of person that stands up for what you believe. You will not compromise in any way, shape or form, and I respect that. I admire those with ethics like yours. You are a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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